Follow-up appointment

I had my D&C follow-up appointment this morning. It was short, quick, and to the point. It took longer to have my blood taken than to talk to the doctor. I really thought I was starting to get better, but I'm not so sure. Being back in the doctor's office really brough back a flood of emotions. I really just want to be pregnant, to be a mom, and it hurts so bad that I was so close to having everything I wanted and it was taken away from me, from us. I'm on the verge of tears and it's the first time for at least week. People tell me it will get better, but when. I'm ready to be better, I'm ready to be pregnant. Hopefully it will happen this week, because I don't think I can take too many months of not getting pregnant. I'm just ready for this nightmare to be over. This has got be one of the cruelest things to happen to someone.

A case of the Mondays

UGH! Are Mondays as rough for you as they are for me? I just hate getting out of bed on Mondays. I think this is going to be a long week but after this week, I'm well on my way to a much needed Summer Vacation!

The most exciting thing to happen to me today was my new purse came today! It's beautiful!

Here it is.

I just love it. Mine is a different color. The dark brown parts are actually a light brown and the pink scarf is a light khaki color. I love it and it made my dreaded Monday much better.

It's over already...

Another weekend...is gone! I can't believe they go so fast. This one went particularly fast. Friday I was at a conference all day out of town. Then yesterday we had an afternoon wedding to go to. It was pretty fun it just took up most of the day and evening. Then today I worked on homework for about 3 hours. I just got started and I couldn't stop. Which is a good thing considering how much I still have to do.

I guess I'm ready to start another week. It just means I'm that much closer to being done with school this semester. COUNTDOWN: 8 more days of school. Oh, and I should be ovulating sometime this week, hopefully.

So indecisive

Corey and I constantly have this struggle about what to have for dinner. I will ask him what he wants and then he will say I don't know what do you want. This can go on for hours. We can never decide what to have for dinner. I think we are just tired of all our recipes. We tend to eat the same things over and over and now we are bored. I just get really irritated when we can't decide on something.

If you have a tasty recipe post it here please.

Domestic Goddess?

I had been doing very well with the miscarriage, until last night. Something just hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I just can't help but feel that this whole thing is unfair, and as much as I would never wish this one anyone I feel like I don't understand why this happened to us and anyone else that we know who is pregnant. I had a hard time falling asleep last night since it was all I could think about. Luckily I got to sleep in today.

Usually on the nights that I have to work I don't make dinner. Today, however, I plan to. I'm going to make tacos. I know not too hard but I also made homemade salsa and Diet Root Beer Cake. Here are the recipes.

Salsa~
1 14.5 oz can tomatoes and green chili's (Rotel) (I couldn't find this size of can so I used a 10 oz can.)
1 14.5 oz can whole called tomatoes (plus juice)
4 teaspoons jalepenos (canned, diced - not pickled) (I don't use this many. I just cut up 2-3 slices.)
1/4 cup diced yellow onion
1/2-3/4 teaspoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon sugar
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1. In food processor place jalepenos and onions and process for just a few seconds.
2. Add both cans of tomatoes, garlic salt, sugar and cumin.
3. Process by pulsing until you reach desired consistency.
4. Refrigerate a few hours to help blend and enrich the flavor. (This step is crucial!)

Diet Root Beer Cake~
1 box vanilla cake mix
12 oz. Diet Root Beer
(You can use any combination you want.)
Fat Free Cool Whip
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Mix the cake and soda together and bake according to box directions. Frost with Cool Whip.
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I made two 8 inch round cakes and am going to attempt to make it into a layer cake. I'm sure it won't look too pretty.

Oh, and last thing, 11 days of school left until Summer Vacation!

It's about time...

We finally started working on our landscaping. Well, not we, but Corey. We had these hideous bushes in front of our house when we moved in, so last Spring we ripped them out. However, we never got around to planting anything else so it has looked pretty...well, crappy. Corey has been working very hard all day on this little project and I have been of no help.

Here are some pictues of the work in progress.

Ok well there is one picture of the progress and one of my non-photogenic dog. Anyway, thanks to Corey for making it finally look nice. Now we off to go buy some bushes and make a quick stop at Sonic. Oh, how I love the warm weather.

1st Timer

Well, I thought I would give this blog thing a try. I've had a lot on my mind lately and really just need a place to express it. Let me start from the beginning.

Corey and I started TTC in August 2007. After about six months we decided to seek help since I had been charting for over a year and suspected everything was working right with my body. Plus, we were aware that Corey had a varicocele but were told that it wouldn't effect his fertility. His doctor requested that he have an SA done the results were not good. His count was 8 million, it should around 225 million. He was then sent to an urologist, who suggested surgery and requested another SA. This SA came back with a count of 2 million. We hadn't fully decided on surgery but at this point decided it would be best. Corey had a varicocelectomy(I'm sure that is spelled wrong) on February 22, 2008. According to my chart I was set to ovulate on or around February 26th. Believe it or not, we got our BFP on March 13, 20o8. We were so excited and couldn't believe it was finally happening.

Around April 7th I started having pretty bad cramping and some light spotting. On April 9th we went in for an ultrasound and discovered that there was no fetal pole or cardiac activity. At this point my Dr. suggesting waiting it out to see if my body would miscarry naturally, but he said if I would choose to I could have a D&C to end the wait. I chose to have the D&C on April 10th. Right before surgery I was told that my HCG levels had gone up in 48 hours but hadn't doubled like they should have. This made my second guess my decision and not go through with the surgery. I wanted through the weekend and then on April 15th I was told that my HCG levels had actually gone down and my body would miscarry but there was no way to tell when. I went ahead and had the D&C that day.

This has been a horrible experience for Corey and I and I can't tell you enough how much it hurts. To have something you want so much ripped out of you is horrible. We had so many dreams of a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas with our little one this year. I'm sure the holidays will be tough this year but not any more harder than the last few weeks have been. We intend to start TTC again this cycle and hopefully we will see that little plus sign before too long.

I just want to introduce Corey and I a little more even though you just read about who we are right now. Corey and I are high school sweethearts who were married on June 18, 2005. Corey works as a Deputy Sheriff and I'm going to school to be an elementary school teacher. I will finish up in December and it couldn't come soon enough.

Here we are on Easter this year. That's our dog Jules. He is the love of our lives right now. We can't get enough of him. He is spoiled rotten and he knows it.