"Your embryo (looking kind of like a tadpole) is starting to form major organs (heart, kidney, liver, stomach) and systems (nervous, circulatory, digestive). Baby's presence in your uterus triggers production of hCG (the hormone detected by pregnancy tests)... which triggers production of other hormones like estrogen and progesterone... which trigger all those great symptoms you've probably been noticing! "
This week our Bunny(this is what we have decided to call the baby since I'm due in April) looks like a poppyseed.
"In week 4, now safe in your womb, the ball of cells (blastocyst) splits in two, becoming the embryo and the placenta. The amniotic sac and fluid are forming around baby, and will act as a cushion for the next eight months. "
I'M PREGNANT! We are so excited, cautious, but excited. My EDD is April 29, 2009! I got a BFP on Tuesday. We had our first scare last night with some light spotting that the Dr. isn't real concerned about. It was enough to send me into panic mode but I haven't had any since so I'm hoping everything is getting settled in and ready for the long haul. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers since it's going to be a long frist trimester.
I'm 9 DPO today and POAS. I knew I was setting myself up for failure but did it anyway. It was obviously a BFN. I shouldn't be upset but I am. This is the first month since the m/c that I really have my hopes up. I don't know why but I just feel really good about this cycle. I guess I will wait and see what happens this week. I just hope I don't come crashing down off this cloud because of AF.
Yesterday was the first day of school and I was so exhausted that I couldn't even blog about it. I'm student teaching until November in a fourth grade classroom. I'm at a rural school with a high Native American population and a low SES standing. It's a very different setting than I've ever taught in before so I think it will be interesting and I will definetly learn a lot.
My mentor teacher is quite the stickler on quiet and doesn't like noise or speaking out or roaming around. It's quite different than how I usually run things, but I think it might be a good thing for this class since they are very talkative. After about a week with her hopefully they will be settled down before I start teaching.
I'm hoping for a smooth semester and I will keep you updated on the funny things they say.
This is the second week in a row that I have broke out in tears in the middle of church. Today's sermon was about how God is the only one that can walk on water and when we are up to our necks in water he is right there next to us with a miracle. I couldn't help but think about how I am up to my neck in water and I could sure use that miracle he has waiting for me. I so badly want that miracle. The minister also said a prayer about remembering those that have lost a loved one and have to deal with an empty bedroom, nursing home room, empty committee member seat, etc, and all I thought about was that I have an empty(well it's not empty, but it's not full of baby things) bedroom at home that should be converted to a nursery at this point. He also went on to pray for the service men and women as in policemen, firemen, EMTs, etc. All of this while I'm sitting there alone since Corey was at work, he's a police officer. It's just getting harder not to cry at some point during church and today I didn't even bother getting up, I just sat there, alone, and cried.
I purposely did not sit by the lady that made me cry last week though. I knew I would be uncomfortable and she probably would have been too.
God, if you happen to read this, I could use that miracle you have waiting for me.
Since school is starting soon, I go back on Friday, I decided I better get some projects done that I've been meaning to do all summer. I started out by having Corey strip all our bedroom furniture so I could paint it an off white color. It looks really good, but I did learn that Wal-Mart paint is cheap for a reason, it does not coat very well. He is stripping the last dresser, as we speak, and then I will paint it. I also got new hardware to put on it and also on our Cedar Chest.
Corey and I went to church yesterday and while we were greeting each other a lady asks me if I'm having a baby. Now maybe she didn't know we lost the baby (it's been 4 months, she should have known) or if she thought I looked pregnant yesterday. I did have on a cotton empire waist dress but seriously I don't think I looked pregnant, and if I was still pregnant I would look a heck of a lot more pregnant than I possibly could have to her in that dress. So after I walked out in tears and retreated to the restroom for a little while I rejoined Corey back in church and made it through. But then all day yesterday, I was sad. I just couldn't shake. Something in me just snapped and I just moped around all day. I haven't done that in quite a while and I feel like I took some steps backward. Thanks lady in church.
I've been reading "Conquering Infertility". It's been good so far. I think I've decided I need to see a therapist. I think I could possibly be depressed and the book says depressed people have even more trouble getting pregnant. It's just a vicious cycle. I'm depressed because I'm not pregnant and can't get pregnant because I'm depressed. AHH! I want to get off this rollercoaster of infertility. I've been on the ride long enough and am ready to get off.
Corey finish month 1 of his Fertility Blend last night. We go to the specialist in one month so he will be able to finish another month of it and then hopefully we will see some good results.
Oh and I go back to school in 4 days! I can't believe summer is over in 4 days. Where did the time go?!?!
