Breastfeeding isn't as natural of a thing as I thought it was. It really is difficult. Now, I knew going in that it wasn't going to be easy, it was going to hurt and we were going to have to work together to make it work. I didn't know that Zoe may not latch on right away if at all, I didn't know it would be so difficult for her to pull the milk down and I didn't know she was going to fight me so much when she was ready to eat. After fighting with her for over a week trying to get her to latch on and using the nipple shield I finally was at my wit's end yesterday. I cried almost all afternoon. I decided I was going to pump through the night and see how that went. Well, I hate it even more. I hated that I sat on the couch all alone and pumped every three hours and then because I had just been up Corey would wake up with Zoe to feed her from the bottle I had pumped. I missed being the one feeding her. Plus, as the night went on I started getting less and less milk. I think I'm finally to the point where we are just going to give her formula. I'm racked with guilt because of this but it's not fair to her for me to dread the time to come when she is ready to eat. I can't continue to fight with her at every feeding just to get her to eat and she much prefers the bottle it seems. I know all that matters is that she is eating and healthy. I also know my milk is best but at this point is just seems so much better for both of us to admit defeat and find the best way for her to eat and be healthy. She is going in on Monday for a weight check and then I will make my final decision regarding the formula. Any opinions and/or suggestions?
The Weekend Dish: 5/18/2024
12 hours ago
3 comments:
Ashley, I'm so sorry I'm just now getting to this as even 1 day in the middle of breastfeeding torture seems like an eternity. I understand 100% how you are feeling-- the guilt, the dread, the hating feeding time, the everything. I've been in your shoes and cried all day long for weeks, but I want you to know that so far Lilly seems healthy and very happy-- formula and all! I never even considerd a Plan B when it came to feeding. I assumed breastfeeding would be it. I don't think we even owned any bottles when we came home from the hospital! It is such a cruel slap in the face when you realize how HARD and foreign it feels when you expected quite the opposite.
I just want you to know that many of us have walked your path and we understand the feelings you are going through. BIG HUGS!!!
Know that you are a great mom whatever you decide. As long as your baby is healthy that is all that matters!
But I will encourage you to stick it out for at least 6 weeks (b/c that is what everyone is encouraging me to do). I'm having major issues too. I have a great little eater, but not enough milk. I can barely get an ounce when I pump. But I'm determined to give her whatever she can get from me and supplement enough formula so that she doesn't starve.
My SIL had a horrible time getting her baby to latch after using the nipple sheild but now she's doing great and can finish a feeding in 10 minutes flat!
Have you been to see a lactation consultant? Try to stick it out for 4 more weeks with me! If only I could give you half my babies latching skills and you could give me half your supply. We'd make the perfect pair.
OH! And try pumping a little bit and bottle feeding her like an ounce and THEN breast feeding her for the rest of the feeding. I find Isla is MUCH easier to latch on when she's not so hungry. She doesn't flail all over the place in desperate attempts so get to the food.
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