Weight Watchers

Let me begin by saying I HATE DIETING! With that said, I started Weight Watchers yesterday. I'm a very picky eater and I love sweets. I'm hoping that by just being more conscious of what I'm eating I will see some results.

I also saw my Dr. today about PPD. He was very understanding and helped me realize that what I'm feeling is normal. I told him that I can go from sad and crying to mad and yelling in no time. He said that's normal and that I need to make sure I'm getting plenty of sleep. I have been lacking sleep and the only way I can explain it is by saying that when I have bad days I'm so afraid the next day will be bad day that I don't want to fall asleep so that I won't wake up to a new day. When I'm in bed and Corey and Zoe are asleep then it's just me and I can be just me by myself. I can watch TV in quiet, I can think about things that have been on my mind, basically I don't have to worry about anyone else at that moment. He's going to have me start taking medication and hopefully we will see some improvements. I told him that some days I just feel like running away, leaving everything behind and not looking back. He told me that it's normal to feel that way because things are different now and harder than when it was just me and Corey. Luckily he didn't make me talk too much since I was fighting back tears as soon as he walked in the room. I'm hoping things will get better and I will start to feel more like the old Ashley.

One funny thing that he said was that the medication can cause a loss of libido and if that is the case and causes problems we can switch me to something else. Then he said that if Corey ends up coming in for depression then he will know he needs to switch my medication. ;)